Dear Diary, As the sun went down yesterday, although what I had prepared was very little, but to provide my lovely daughter, Jing Wei, with food, I tried my best to give her what I could. The cold wind came into the house through the cracks in the window, and soon enough the temperature in the room dropped. These days I am so upset and disappointed at myself for everything, but especially for not being able to do anything for my daughter. After the short dinner, my daughter and I were sewing and talking about our problems, but it was soon interrupted by two soldiers who had broken in to our house. I pulled my daughter close to me and whispered into her ears, saying to run away through the backdoor when I take the soldiers’ attention away from my daughter. She refused but as the soldiers came closer to us, I had to push my daughter towards the backdoor so that she will be safe. The soldiers became very mad as they tried to catch my daughter but I used all of my body strength to keep them away from her. It was obvious that they were very enraged since I was able to feel their anger. However I couldn’t let them rape my daughter and treat her as an animal. I tried to run away from them, but it was too late for me. They grabbed my hair and pushed me against the wall. The pain spread throughout my body and the more I tried to resist them, they threw me on the ground, hit me, and even did unbelievable things. When I woke up this morning, I was laying down one the kitchen floor, but I couldn’t remember what happened after I was thrown down on the floor. As I was trying to think about what happened to me, I realized that my daughter didn’t come back. Since there were bombs blowing around the neighborhood, I started to worry about her more, so dressed up as fast as I could and went around the neighborhood. I went to all the places that she could go to, but she wasn’t there. I didn’t eat nor drank anything. I searched for signs and tracks of my daughter, but there was no hope. After hours and hours of searching, I came back home. Right now, I just don’t know what to do. After the rape, I... I am physically and mentally damaged. However, I need to find my daughter and keep searching for her, so I need to go now! Please God, help me find my daughter.
As the sun went down yesterday, although what I had prepared was very little, but to provide my lovely daughter, Jing Wei, with food, I tried my best to give her what I could. The cold wind came into the house through the cracks in the window, and soon enough the temperature in the room dropped. These days I am so upset and disappointed at myself for everything, but especially for not being able to do anything for my daughter. After the short dinner, my daughter and I were sewing and talking about our problems, but it was soon interrupted by two soldiers who had broken in to our house. I pulled my daughter close to me and whispered into her ears, saying to run away through the backdoor when I take the soldiers’ attention away from my daughter. She refused but as the soldiers came closer to us, I had to push my daughter towards the backdoor so that she will be safe. The soldiers became very mad as they tried to catch my daughter but I used all of my body strength to keep them away from her. It was obvious that they were very enraged since I was able to feel their anger. However I couldn’t let them rape my daughter and treat her as an animal. I tried to run away from them, but it was too late for me. They grabbed my hair and pushed me against the wall. The pain spread throughout my body and the more I tried to resist them, they threw me on the ground, hit me, and even did unbelievable things. When I woke up this morning, I was laying down one the kitchen floor, but I couldn’t remember what happened after I was thrown down on the floor. As I was trying to think about what happened to me, I realized that my daughter didn’t come back. Since there were bombs blowing around the neighborhood, I started to worry about her more, so dressed up as fast as I could and went around the neighborhood. I went to all the places that she could go to, but she wasn’t there. I didn’t eat nor drank anything. I searched for signs and tracks of my daughter, but there was no hope. After hours and hours of searching, I came back home. Right now, I just don’t know what to do. After the rape, I... I am physically and mentally damaged. However, I need to find my daughter and keep searching for her, so I need to go now! Please God, help me find my daughter.
Love,
Gao Xiaolian